From the second we come into this world, our transition from being a nobody to somebody commences. The physical helm of this world expects us to be somebody at every stage of our lives. So, we dedicate our entire life trying to be someone who matters, has views, purpose, achievements, relationships, social security, and above all, an everlasting identity to succeed us after we die. Then, finally, one fine day, our soul departs, undoing our whole life’s work of being somebody to a nobody, and our memory becomes simply another’s version. Our biggest calling on this planet is unification with the soul and aligning with the universe and creator of all that is. In simple words, it’s the process of merging with nothingness, which is of a supreme significance in the higher realms. However, most religious and spiritual diversity primarily subscribe to the fact that one universal power exists, devoting it different names and routes, trying to find its true meaning in a world where everyone wants to be somebody.
The conflict between our consciousness – what we see with open eyes – and subconsciousness – what we intent with closed eyes – is probably the principal dilemma in today’s world. Whilst our societal pursuits move us in one direction in a desperate attempt to be someone, our spiritual aspirations move us in another, nudging us to evolve to nobody. This is precisely the reason for disagreement between our actions v/s our prayers, or our evolution.
There have been numerous gifted guides who’ve unearthed both arenas, though in silos. If you have a bookshelf, divided, one by great authors who aim to make you somebody, and two, with books on enlightenment and spirituality, would it help or confuse you? Pragmatically, life cannot move on by ignoring either, so is there a way to be a nobody by still being somebody?
Can we let go of our fear of converging into nothingness? Can both the physical and spiritual realms unite in harmony for a meaningful life?
Let’s say we add a third shelf between the two shelves. My aim here is to be a nobody so that I can be anybody to that somebody.
As a healer and therapist, that’s been my calling. But, in my experience of interacting with clients for over a decade, my most formidable challenge was to learn to cease being not only a healer and therapist but a wife, mother, daughter, all facets that bound me into being somebody, clouding my perception. I intended to terminate personal judgements and sublimate the context of right and wrong to the absolute situational understanding of those around me.
The right and wrong don’t have to blur but meld, so we need to shed the skin of judgement inchoating from our past experiences shaping our current beliefs. The intoxication of reverting to our old views, beliefs, judgements, and solutions is extremely high and the crux of developmental immobility. Everyone is different as our life’s wiring is a unique definition of ourselves, and finding discernment, we move from being somebody to nobody. This comes with an intimidating compromise of suppressing your thoughts, feelings, and ideas and settling with the void. But you have to be willing to become a nobody, and it’s imperative if you want to help someone heal themselves – bringing them down to ground zero was my toughest challenge because their individuality is their topmost security in this world.
Personal change and growth are initiated through our subconscious mind but require a conscious effort to reprogram it. Our subconscious mind begins to program our mental and emotional levels right from childhood. They govern our actions and decisions through the years, but when the need to change or alter them arises, we work towards unwiring them, replacing them with new beliefs.
This approach often fails because the mind subscribes to the theory that what takes a lifetime to create won’t change so quickly, typically in the presence of the consistent environmental existence we are living in.
Thus, instant change is no piece of cake, but there is a more straightforward route. Instead of trying to change our preexisting programs, we accept them wholly in harmony with self-awareness. Wholehearted acceptance of ourselves dulls our existing beliefs and disintegrates the conflict between our conscious and subconscious minds, transitioning from somebody to nobody smoothly, without apprehension of the change.
18 Unread Messages – life lessons from a nobody – addressed as a letter to each one is my attempt to support everyone adamantly trying to make life changes and introduce the virtues.
A virtue is an honour, the task of being true to oneself without the self-criticism or self-pity that already exist within us. But the only commonality through which we can reach them is to break down the ego barriers and let go of our urge to change to be somebody constantly.
For virtues to sprout from your soul, you have to be a nobody.
I cannot tell you who you should be or what you should do because you are extraordinary – just be you. This is the only way to constitute lifelong wisdom and the enriching outcome for which we so early and sometimes frustratedly hope and squander upon millions of unknown paths.
All my clients and students – many being eminent personalities – but regardless of their stature in their personal and professional lives grounded themselves to become a nobody. I offer my profound gratitude to them, for having found me, trusted me, and allowed me to help them with their journey; without their contribution, this book wouldn’t have been possible. Each one of them has touched and enriched my soul. It doesn’t matter whether you came once or many times; whether you follow the path of spirituality or not, you are a massive part of everything that I’ve achieved here.
It was deeply therapeutic to write this book. Narrating the stories allowed me to understand things from a larger perspective that I probably missed during therapy.